Catch 22
by Vellor The Ancient
Summary: a catch 22 about Naruto and Co.
1. Chapter 1

Just a "blank" amount of things I've noticed about the anime. Things that could have gone different, and what not. Just read and hopefully enjoy the results of my insanity.

All pretty random, and just things that pop out of my head. Most of it probably isn't cannon, or can be argued as non-cannon.

Really I don't care, some of it is pure au.

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When your average person looks at Gai and Kakashi, they are sympathetic to Kakashi, thinking that he would ram a chidori through Gai's chest if he could get away with it. The truth is much different. Gai reminds Kakashi of Obito, in a good way. He gives Kakashi a reason to laugh, even if he hides it in a dirty book with a perverted giggle. He keeps Kakashi sane, so after every bloody mission, after every morning he spends at the memorial stone, he goes and bugs Gai, and listens to him rant about flaming youth, or some crap like that. He never really knows just what Gai means by that.

Gai knows this, and acts all the more insane around Kakashi because of it. He knows how much the man needs to laugh after all he's been through. The truth is, the two are the best of friends, its why in a fight, only the most hardened opponents stand against the two, both of them _know_ each other too well. They don't move like two teammates, they move like they know what the other is thinking. The truth is though, they do. They know each other that well.

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The few that know this mistakenly believe the two are lovers, FAR from it. Both are straight as an arrow, in fact they quite often go to bars outside of Konohana, where they aren't that well known, looking somewhat normal, and by each other (and a few ladies) some drinks. They are back in town the next morning, acting just the same, and loving it. The truth is, they BOTH get kicks out of people assuming they are lovers, and leave little clues about it, just to amuse themselves, then go out of town, get drunk, get laid, and come back home. In that order.

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Out of all of Konohana's shinobi, only the Sannin and the third hokage have been ninja longer than Kakashi. Most don't realize this, but Kakashi was a gennin at the age of five. He didn't go up through the ranks as fast as Itachi for one reason only. Arashi, his sensei, wouldn't let him. He wanted Kakashi to be a child first. Truthfully this is the only reason Kakashi didn't become the fifth.

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If Kakashi's sensei had let him move up the ranks faster Kakashi would have been a jounin at the age of 9, not 12, and wouldn't have broken his father's dagger fighting against that rock shinobi. With it, and the legendary white chakra of the Hatake clan, he would become the third youngest hokage after his sensei's death. Things would be much different then. Itachi wouldn't have left, simply because having served under Kakashi, and having been his successor as commandant of the ANBU special assassination squad, when the man became hokage, he would realize that Kakashi and Arashi were right, people made you stronger, not powers, or blood limits. And when Kakashi would trade his life for Orochimaru's with a white chakra chidori channeled through his father's dagger almost tearing the man in half, while the Kusanagi sword impaled his chest, He, Itachi, would be the first blood limit baring Hokage, becoming the fifth instead of Tsunade.

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This wouldn't be the only change. Kakashi would have changed how Naruto was treated, placing the young man under Itachi's care after he FINALY (after several years of trying) got the young man to realize where true strength came from. Naruto would have been trained from a young age to fight the sharingan and would have had family (somewhat of one at least). When eventually Sasuke defected (because he never learned where strength came from, only turning to hatred of his brother once he made hokage) Naruto would drag his ass through the gates, both of Sasuke's eyes missing and trails of blood going down his cheeks. When Itachi would see this, he would turn to Naruto, smile, pat him on the shoulder and tell him how _proud_ he was of his _son_ (neither of them would ever care that they weren't related by blood). He would then turn to Sasuke and drag him away, killing him the second that they were out of sight, fully disgusted beyond all belief of his younger brother (who he never considered family, an irony that made him and Naruto laugh whenever they thought about it). His father would lead a revolt alongside Danzo years later, only for the anbu commandant, Naruto Uzimaki, to slaughter them all for daring to threaten his hokage. But more than that, for threatening his only _father_. Afterwards, Itachi would take a long hard look at him, and let him know that he was now the sixth Hokage, then tell him (jokingly) that if Konohana wasn't in flames in a year's time, he would buy Naruto all the ramen he could eat.

A year later a certain hokage would be taken to the hospital for overeating, and as his predecessor following him, Itachi would wear a smile the whole way, even while acting the part of a worried father.

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There was a reason Orochimaru's eyes were like snakes, and it wasn't because he had a snake demon in his gut.

Its because in order to gain the snake summons, he gave them his soul. The terms were that once he died, they would devour his soul.

That's why he was obsessed with gaining ever lasting life, not because he needed it to master every jutsu (that was a nice little excuse though) no, it was to keep his soul from being eaten by the snake summons. That's why he was so scared of the death god, after all he had witnessed the bargain. It's why he wanted to be immortal… to stop those snakes from getting his soul.

It was also the reason that the Third couldn't seal Orochimaru's soul. The death god wouldn't let him, how ever, the agreement never said that the snakes would get _all_ of Orochimaru's soul. The snake summons have never trusted the death god to witness a pact sense.

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When a little blond girl ran over and helped a pink hared girl with a large forehead, it was because this nice boy with gray hair and glasses had said she should.

When a raven hared boy who wanted nothing more than to look at clouds noticed a over weight boy getting picked on, the only reason he did anything was because a certain gray hared boy said his mother would be angry if he didn't.

When blond boy who wondered why everyone hated him walked along a lake and saw a black hared boy that was just as alone as him. It was only because a nice, really nice, boy with gray hair and told him that there were no mean adults over there to hurt him.

When a young boy bumped into a boy that was collecting bugs, and then dragged him off to look at the flees on Akamaru's coat, it was only because this boy with really big glasses and a pony tail had told him that he could make a new friend that way.

The truth is; no one ever realized just how long Kabuto had played as a spy. The truth is, no one will ever know who he really serves, that's because his _masters_ don't even know. So every time he moves his glasses _just so_ that they reflect the light and hide his eyes, its because he doesn't want anyone to see where he's eyes are looking right then. Because he knows, the eyes are the gateway to the soul. Its through the eyes that Orochimaru's soul flies in order to steal a body after all, and Kabuto knows that all too well. He doesn't want anyone to know that he's looking at his master right then.

What would shock people, is that nine times out of ten… he's looking in Naruto's direction. Or more correctly; in Kyuubi's direction.

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What most people never realized about Kabuto, when he showed up with the nin-cards, it was to help _Naruto_ not Sasuke.

When he taunted Naruto during their fight, telling him to run away and live, that it was stupid to gamble with his life, he did it to get Naruto angry, because he knew Naruto always fought _better_ when he was angry.

Years later, the two would meet. And Kabuto would explain that ever sense he can remember he has served Kyuubi, that it was at Kyuubi's orders that he served Sasori, then Orochimaru. Then he will look Naruto in his eyes, for once not moving his glasses so that they hid where he was looking, and would say, "Naruto-kun… you'll become a fine Hokage. I'll follow you into hell if that's where you're going. But if say… you want to kill a certain snake…" he would then grin and finish saying, "then I know a few ways to get some snake skin wallets out of him while your at it…"

Which would cause Naruto to laugh uproariously, slapping his knee, and proclaim that Kabuto _was_ a decent guy after all. After shocking his "master" by leading Naruto right into his sleeping chambers, then helping said fox-like ninja kill him. Kabuto would then follow Naruto home, only to nearly be killed by Kakashi, Sakura, Neji, Yamato, Kankuro, Gai, Kurenai, Asuma, Gaara, Temari, Baki, Tenten, Lee, Kiba, Shino, Hinata, Shikamaru, Choiji, Iruka, Ino, Ibiki, Gemna, Ebisu, and a few nameless chuunin guards, would he FINALY meet Tsunade. Who would also try to kill him, only for Naruto to stop each attempt, laughing his ass off the whole DAMN way. Kabuto would laugh in a good natured years later saying it was just a little expected, if very annoying (by which he means scary as hell).

After this whole debacle and everything was explained, Kabuto would move into the same apartment complex Naruto lived in. He would do so, claiming he only had enough money to rent that apartment, although everyone that knew him, knew it was a lie, he was instated as an elite jounin after all, they do get paid pretty well.

But they would all laugh and shrug it off, after all he was Kabuto, and good guy or not, Kabuto will always be strange, and next to impossible to predict.

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After Kabuto came back, he would have lines of fangirls, he would often joke that the Sasuke fanclub and just targeted him instead. But after turning them down (if MUCH more gently than Sasuke ever had) time and again, rumors would erupt that he and Naruto were lovers.

This idea would be confounded by two girls, Hinata and Ayame saying very loudly (although at different times and places) "I KNOW he's not gay, he proves it to me almost every other night!"

Both would then blush so brightly that one would think every ounce of blood in their bodies was in their cheeks. Hinata would faint afterwards, because her boyfriend Naruto Uzimaki himself would turn the corner right then, only for him to catch her. Ayame? She wouldn't be so lucky. Only after a good 15 minute run would she make it to Kabuto's apartment, and be saved from angry fangirls by her night in shining armor, or at least her shinobi with shiny glasses.

When Sakura, Tenten, Ino, and Temari heard of this, they would laugh so hard that they would roll on the ground, crying from laughter.

Later that night as the four walked to their shared apartment, having to _hang_ onto each other to keep from falling on the ground because they are STILL laughing. This would then spawn rumors that the four of them were lovers.

This would cause many males to have many naughty thoughts, and many wiser males (in other words, the men that actual knew them) to simply laugh, and shake their heads.

It would also cause one male by the name of Neji to say (in a rare moment of stupidity) out loud, "Wait… I know that Ino is straight, she's proven it to me enough times…"

Later that night Ino would teach him why she was Ibiki's prodigy. Later the next day Inochi would attempt to scare Neji way from his daughter. When he failed horribly, he would ask what she was worth to him. Neji would reply with, "I don't really know…" and walk away.

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Ino would later confront him about that answer. Neji would answer truthfully, "I'm not sure how much you're worth to me, because I cant compare you to anything else…"

Later that night he would wish he had bought more condoms.

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The original Ino-Shika-Cho group's success wasn't biased on teamwork as most people thought.

The fact is, it's pretty hard to catch people in shadows when their running from one man that has inflated himself into the size of a small house and is rolling around like a boulder trying to squash them.

It's also pretty hard to take control of their body while their doing that.

The fact is, it's pretty hard for Inochi, or Shikaku to do much of anything once Chouza goes rolling around.

The reason they worked so well?

Easy, Inochi is a scary motherfucker when he gets pissed, or people think he's a woman, Chouza is too damn stubborn to ever quit, or let a friend get hurt.

And Shikaku? He just rocks at killing people. Normally he acts calm, and relaxed, but the truth? In battle his blood sings. He gets, for lack of a better word, pumped. Most Nara men are like this. Complacent and lazy as hell normally, but in a fight with a blade in their hands (or a jutsu in the air) they turn down right bloodthirsty. Shikaku is abnormal in the fact that he can control it; that's why his son has never known this little fact. His father never wanted him to know that the clan was like that.

Most never wanted to work with them, simply because of that.

The three of them worked well because they just wouldn't stop, they were all too stubborn, they didn't work well together naturally, they MADE their techniques and styles mesh, simply out of pure grit.

So when people use them as a shinning example of teamwork, they laugh, go have a few drinks. Then they go on a dangerous mission and slaughter a few jounin, maybe a squad or two, then go back home and have a victory drink.

The fact is every squad that the rock, or cloud, trained to take them down failed, simply because they couldn't predict them. Between Inochi just going fucking crazy throwing kunai with exploding tags on them _everywhere_, Chouza rolling around trying to crush you, or turning into a giant and just trying to fucking _stomp_ on you, then Shikaku chasing after you with a kunai, a fucking crazy grin on his face, simply had the squads too busy trying to get the _fuck_ away to even _think_ of killing them.

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Tenten is probably the most unique of the female shinobi of her generation to come out of Konohana.

Yes, she has a crush on a damn powerful ninja with a tragic past.

Yes she puts her hair up in some style.

Yes she wears something that doesn't look even remotely shinobi like.

But the fact is, she doesn't give a _fuck_ if Neji thinks she looks cute with her hair like that, or wearing this shirt, or that one.

She didn't become a ninja to get him to like her.

She doesn't dream of marrying him one day.

Because, she knows it's a crush. She doesn't pretend its love like the others do.

This is because she knows one important fact.

You don't _fucking_ fall in love at the age of 11. Or 12. Or 13. Or even 15.

She knows that love takes time.

She also knows that being married to Neji would be hell. As much as dating him might be fun, she knows that she doesn't want to be married ANY time soon.

She also does little things like, training. And not just for a man.

She takes being a shinobi seriously. She doesn't _need_ any fucking man. She doesn't need his approval. She doesn't go out of her way to get him to be hers.

She simply flirts a little when it won't get in the way of anything important, then walks off, swaying her hips. And if it doesn't work? Then she goes and throws a few kunai at a few targets, hits them all, then watches a sappy romance flick.

Then the next day she remains professional. No tears. No throwing herself at him, begging him to take her. She doesn't cling to him every chance she gets, or faints if he sees her.

It doesn't crush her when he says that one word, "no".

That's why Neji, even though being colder than Sasuke, has never said, "you're annoying".

Well that and he knows that she would (and could) castrate him in a second if he did.

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	2. Chapter 2

And, its CHAPTER TWO!!!

Truthfully I have no damn clue how long this thing is gona go on for.

I am writing chap 2 of A Different way, and working on another fic, that will shock the fuck out of all of you.

But this… I just have sooo many ideas!! XD

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What most people didn't realize about Zabuza is that he was crying on the bridge, not for Haku, but because Naruto reminded himself of a kid he knew a few decades ago…

Himself.

That's why he redeemed himself. He saw himself in Naruto, he saw that this kid had potential pouring out of him. He knew that if that brat died here and now that he wouldn't change the world…

And he, more than most, knew how badly the world needed a change.

So when he charged that group of mercenaries with nothing but a kunai in his mouth, he did it to put fear in them.

He also did it to prove there is such a thing as redemption.

So years later, when Naruto became hokage and crushed the rock and cloud in open war, slaughtering, not killing, slaughtering over 500 shinobi all by himself, but shedding a tear for each one, Zabuza looked down from heaven (or up from hell, we'll never know) and smiled. Haku… he beamed with joy, knowing that Naruto had kept his humanity, even while being a true shinobi and protecting everyone that he cared about.

He did what both of them failed at. And he did it with ease.

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The true reason Kakashi comes up with his excuses.

Well it's to get his students to act like kids.

And only Sasuke gets that.

After all he is a jounin, if he wanted to he could trick them all into believing he was the hokage in disguise. To use those lame ass excuses?

It was to get them to act like kids, not like hired assassins.

He never wanted them to go the same way his gennin team did.

In hindsight… he wishes they had gone the same way his team had. He wishes Sasuke had sacrificed his life for Naruto on that bridge…

He wishes Sakura had turned into a hermit, running away from grief…

Because… because then he wouldn't have taught a traitor. He wouldn't have had to watch Naruto kill his brother years later…

He wouldn't have had to stop Sakura's attempted suicide…

Every time he stands at the memorial stone, he wishes that team seven had turned out like his gennin team.

It would have been easier.

It would have been better.

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Sarutobi Sasuke, that was the third's name.

He was the first hokage to keep any portion of their name.

The first two went by their titles.

The forth did the same.

Tsunade followed his footsteps, but she only kept her first name.

Naruto? He was proud he was Naruto Uzimaki. He will be the Sixth, he will be the hokage, but he always was, and always will be Naruto Uzimaki.

Until he learns he is the Fourth's son.

Then he'll be Naruto Kazuma.

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Years later on Naruto's wedding day, Sakura will look back on how they acted all those years back.

How every time Sasuke turned her down, damn near breaking her heart and Naruto would ask her out. She realized something, every time he did that, it helped her get her confidence back.

Then she'll realize something else.

She did the same thing to him that Sasuke did to her.

A tear will slip down her face after that.

Then she'll realize something else.

She threw away her chance with the boy, no, the MAN, that stood in front of his friends, a priest going through the ceremony, binding Naruto and his beloved in marriage.

For a second she'll wish she was that woman… then she'll realize something Tsunade had tried to teach her all along.

That she doesn't need a man.

Then she'll smile as widely as she can. Happy not just for her friend… truthfully her best friend, but for herself.

The day Naruto comes back from his honey-moon Sakura will hug him tightly, and thank him for dealing with her for all those years out loud, and inside… for teaching her that she would be fine all on her own.

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Later that year the war between the cloud, stone, and the leaf would erupt.

Sakura would be leading a medic squad into the field when they would be ambushed. Sakura would stay behind to give the rest a chance to get away.

150 would fall before her that day, and by the end of it she would be covered head to toe in blood.

She would earn the name "Konohana's Bloody Cherry Blossom".

And a place on the stone of heroes.

Sakura would give her life that day. Naruto would arrive in time to drive off the remainder of the attacking ninja, and hear Sakura thank him for everything… everything.

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That would be the day Naruto would order all leaf shinobi to retreat from the battlefield.

That would be the day Naruto would face over 500 shinobi all on his own.

That would be the day Naruto would slaughter 500 shinobi all on his own.

That would be the day Tsunade stepped down and let Naruto take over.

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It would also be the day Iwa finally realized something. That they will never beat the leaf, or Arashi Kazuma's line.

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After that battle Kumo would cease to exist as a shinobi village, too drained of resources and shinobi they would send an envoy to Konohana, offering total surrender and annexation into Konohana's military forces.

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Neji Hyuuga would take pride in the fact that Naruto's first act as hokage was to make the branch family's seal outlawed.

A few of the elder Hyuuga would revolt, only for Naruto's anbu ops commandant, Hyuuga Neji to ambush them with the entirety of the anbu ops squad.

Naruto would jokingly say a few days later that he would make Neji his successor, if only he hadn't promised that position to Konohamaru.

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Decades later after Naruto sacrificed his life to end the sound, using a seal he invented that drained the Kyuubi of all his power and gave it to Naruto. The seal would kill him though, simply because humans couldn't handle that much chakra.

But the sound would be left as nothing but ashes.

Naruto would be remembered as a hero on par with the Forth.

Naruto's last wish would be that the village know _everything._ Including the Kyuubi.

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The next year instead of a festival to celebrate the Kyuubi's death, there would be a festival to celebrate Naruto's life, _all of it_. From the Kyuubi being sealed into him, to him using the Kyuubi to save Konohana at the cost of his own life.

Even those that had most staunchly opposed his reign as hokage would enjoy the celebrations.

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And a certain blonde hared brat that every just _had_ to refer to as "honored son" would walk up to Naruto's successor Konohamaru and kick him in the shin _hard_. Then demand that he declare that he had to be called by his_ name_ not some stupid _fucking _title.

The seventh would laugh, and pat the brat on the head saying, "You're your father's son. In every damn way."

He would also privately wonder if he was this much of a brat to his grandfather.

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It would turn out that Tsunade would be the only hokage to die in her bed of old age.

She could remember the first two Hokage's.

Her sensei was the third.

She helped train the forth.

She was the fifth.

She gave Naruto the position of the sixth.

And watched him give the title to Konohamaru on his deathbed while she tried her damnedest to keep him alive.

She died before she could watch Konohamaru go out in a blaze of glory, blood literally raining around him as he slaughtered those who dared to attack his home.

The first and second had died in battle. The third had given his life to seal Orochimaru's arms. The forth had given his life to seal the Kyuubi. The sixth had given his life to destroy the only force that could destroy Konohana. The seventh died slaughtering 400 shinobi in order to give Konohana's army a chance to regroup and launch a counter assault.

She was the only one to die of old age.

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Konohamaru's last words were lamenting how he had only gotten within a hundred of his bro's 500, and he had to sacrifice his life to do it.

Hanabi would be begging him to save his energy, to live.

He would tell her how much he loved her, his wife.

Then he would pass away, smiling broadly.

His first words to Naruto in heaven?

"Damn it, even in death I couldn't match you could I bro?"

Naruto would just laugh and pat him on the shoulder.

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AN- MAN even as kinda sad as this one is, I still loved writing it.

XD

All in all I love writing this. Keep tuned for MANY more to come.

T.B.C.


	3. Chapter 3

HEY GUYS!!! Another chap of Catch 22.

Sorry that I haven't updated A Different way, I swear I'm not abandoning it, I just don't have any inspiration for it right now…

So, hope you enjoy, and if you have any ideas for A Different Way, or this fic, then send me a message. I have the plot for A Different Way pretty much planned out in my head, just not the fine details. And I'm not getting any inspiration for the fic right now.

Also any idea's for jutsu or spells are appreciated, and I will give credit where it's due.

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Sasuke Sarutobi (otherwise known as the Third Hokage) was heralded as the "Professor" for his mastery of over one thousand jutsu and his mastery of all the elements. He had mastered ninjutsu to a degree no other could even dream of.

His grandson would follow in his footsteps… only in his own way.

Konohamaru would learn with time how to use jutsu of all kind, never mastering all the elements to the same degree as his grandfather, but being able to use jutsu of any element.

He would also learn genjutsu well enough. Add taijutsu to that as well, as well as skills in armed combat.

He never mastered any of those, even once he made hokage. But, he was skilled enough in each of the ninja arts that he was next to unbeatable.

If you overpowered him with taijutsu? He'd trap you in a genjutsu to get some distance, then rain long range ninjutsu on you until you gave in or died.

If you started to beat him with ninjutsu? He'd trap you in a genjutsu, close the distance, and then pound you with taijutsu.

If you trapped him in genjutsu? He'd break free then rain long-range ninjutsu on you until he could close with you and pound you with taijutsu.

Use a fire jutsu on him? He'd counter with a water jutsu.

Use a wind jutsu on him? He'd counter with a rock jutsu.

Use a water jutsu on him? He'd counter with an ice jutsu.

You get the point, no mater what his enemies did he ALWAYS, yes always, had a counter.

That and he learned how to be a stubborn surprising brat from Konohana's number one stubborn, surprising brat, Naruto himself.

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When Ebisu tried to take credit for Konohamaru's strength years later, only for Konohamaru to say it was Naruto who taught Konohamaru how to be strong Ebisu would feel like he was kicked in the nuts. Later that year Naruto would make hokage, his hands still covered in dried blood as he accepted the hat from Tsunade. Ebisu wouldn't feel so bad after that, after all how are you going to compete with the Hokage?

When the gennin team that Naruto trained prior to becoming hokage was nicknamed the "Neo Sannin" Ebisu finally realized that Naruto actually was a good teacher. Thankfully the "Neo Sannin" didn't go the same way as the first Sannin.

Unfortunately it wasn't for lack of trying…

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The "genius" of Naruto's team went rouge a few years after Naruto started teaching him, thinking because he was from a clan he should be the best, ignoring that his sensei was hokage and wasn't from a clan, even if he had married into one.

Instead of the "dead last" hunting him down like the last Sannin, it was Naruto who hunted him down.

It was Naruto who killed him.

When he came back through the gates his hokage robes drenched with blood, Kakashi didn't need to ask if he had mastered his rasen-shuriken.

It was obvious, it was the only technique Naruto used that would cover him in that much blood from one person.

His student was a Hyuuga from the main branch, Hinata's child… it took years for the Hyuuga clan to trust him after that, even with Hinata becoming the clan head the year after, having forgiven Naruto.

Her exact words were, "He had better be glad it was you… and not me, I wouldn't have ended it quickly…"

Her husband, Shino, would agree with his wife, if with a few less tears.

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What no one would realize is that if he could cry he would have had tears streaming down his face.

It was the only time he damned fate for birthing him as an Aburme, or hated his father for having him sign the contract with the destruction bugs as a child.

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Neji and Lee became almost the second coming of Gai and Kakashi, in that they were the best of friends once Neji got his head out of his ass.

After bloody missions Neji would seek out Lee for a few laughs, even if he hid them behind a smirk and quiet coughs.

They had the same teamwork, and their styles meshed even better than Kakashi and Gai.

They became known as the "Twin Fists of Konohana", their combination of the gentle fists and iron fist next to unstoppable to most of their targets. It was to them that Konan, the only female member of the Akatsuki, fell. They both came out with a few wounds ("PAPER CUTS MY YOUTHFUL COMRADES!" Lee screamed when he and Neji were asked, Neji only nodded in agreement), but both of them had smiles and looked like brothers.

This was only made more amusing by the fact that Konan used paper to fight with.

It was Lee that Neji trusted to watch over his children.

It was Neji that Lee went to when he needed a place to crash for the night.

When Gai looks at them, he sees a younger Kakashi and Gai. Then he smiles and rants about "FLAMING YOUTH!" while Kakashi "reads" his book, really trying to figure out (even after all these years) just what Gai means by that.

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Tenten and Kankuro. When the rest of the Konohana Twelve (as the rookie nine and team Gai became known) heard the two were dating… well it made a bit of a stir.

Really the two thought it wasn't that surprising, after all they both specialized in long range combat, using tools.

Both had iron tight chakra control, as well as smaller than normal reserves.

Both made great use of seals.

They had a lot to talk about, and once they started sharing ideas both skyrocketed in strength. In fact it was Tenten's idea's for weaponry that helped shape Kankuro's puppets after Sasori destroyed his old ones.

Most of the weapons were ones her family forged as well.

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Kankuro became on of the few puppet users to master using puppets with one finger after his brush with Sasori, realizing just how much further he had to go, he kept pushing himself until he did the act with ease.

To the end of his life he kept searching for a way to use multiple puppets with one finger.

One day he made an announcement that he had something amazing to show his brother and sister, saying he'd show them the next day.

He died of old age in his sleep that night.

He was just under 70 years old.

So we'll never know just what it was he had to show Gaara and Temari now will we?

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Temari, a lily in the desert one man called her.

He ended up in the hospital later that day and didn't leave for a few weeks.

One thing her "suitors" never got was that she wasn't some flower to be pampered, she was a sword, sharp and deadly.

Only her brothers and Shikamaru got that, that's why even though he was a lazy good for nothing bum, she still ended up loving him, because he didn't want to pamper her. He didn't want to sit her in a chair wearing beautiful clothes that didn't let her move at all, no, he was fine letting her do what she wanted.

That's all she ever wanted out of a man. That's the one thing no man other than her brothers gave her until she met Shikamaru.

So years later when her daughter, an alarmingly lazy, yet hot tempered girl, asked her why she married daddy, Temari simply said, "He was the only one that gave me what I wanted."

333

Once Sasuke heard about Sakura dying in action, he thought it was on a stupid mission, due to her lack of skill.

When he heard she took down over 150 of Iwa's elite's with her… he nearly fainted.

Later that year when he tried to kill Naruto for the last time he realized he should have listened to the tales about _him_ and how _he_ slaughtered over 500 while the "last Uchiha" Sasuke himself was wasting his time killing the people that Orochimaru didn't need around any more.

This became all the more evident when Naruto attacked him with an incomplete jutsu, the first version of the rasen-shuriken. After he got away Sasuke prayed to every force out there that Naruto never mastered that jutsu.

He had barely survived the incomplete version and even then he was getting ready to faint from blood loss.

When Naruto found him fainted on the ground, _just_ this side of the border with Rice country Naruto grinned widely and brought Sasuke home.

333

When Sasuke woke up in chains nearly a month later, he thought that the elder council would free him.

When he was taken to the council meeting to decide his fate… he was shocked.

None of the elder council he knew of were here, not even Danzo.

When he was informed that he would be executed and his sperm used to breed a new Uchiha clan he nearly fainted on the spot.

When he learned that he would be killed by Naruto's _perfected_ jutsu, the rasen-shuriken, or more correctly the _futon_rasen-shuriken, the upgrade of the incomplete jutsu Naruto had used on him…

He shit himself in front of the whole council.

333

Once Naruto became the next in line for Hokage the Wave nation asked to be annexed into Konohana's borders.

Tsunade accepted with out hesitation.

This was what sparked the war with Kumo, which led to Iwa attacking, thinking Konohana would be caught off guard.

Unfortunately Naruto didn't take kindly to either nation's attack.

Shinobi from every village besides Konohana spent the next few years shitting themselves every time they saw blond hair.

Naruto knew this and it became wide spread for anbu to dye their hair blond.

When he sent Tsunade as his emissary before brining his team for the chuunin exam in Iwa it was all the Tsuchikage could do to keep his shinobi from deserting all together.

333

When a few decades later an 11 year old brat with blond hair and seriously weird eyes showed up, proclaiming he'd kick all their asses _just like his dad did during the war_ every Iwa shinobi over 20 shit themselves, then ran away screaming.

It was all Konohamaru could do not to piss himself laughing when he heard about it from the new Tsuchikage.

Oddly the Tsuchikage, Orimo Genki, the general who lead the attack that Naruto stopped, didn't find it funny at all.

333

So, all the "read and review" goodness, and I'm hoping for some feedback on this.

Or some idea's for the next chap of ADW...

Ja ne.


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